Why Our “Too Long” Bedtime Routine Actually Works for Us
If you saw our bedtime routine written out step-by-step, you might think:
“Wow. That is… a lot.”
And honestly? It kind of is 😂
It’s definitely not one of those:
“brush teeth, kiss goodnight, lights out in 7 minutes” situations.
Our bedtime routine takes awhile. There are timers. Multiple warnings. Bath time. Books. Bedtime songs. Snuggles. Choices. More songs. And yes… I sit in my son’s room until he falls asleep.
Some parents would probably hate this routine.
But for us?
It works.
And I think that matters more than whether or not it looks “right” to someone else.
First: No Judgment Either Way
Before I explain our routine, let me just say this:
I truly believe bedtime is survival mode for a lot of parents.
If your bedtime routine is quick and efficient and works beautifully for your family? Amazing.
If bedtime feels chaotic and stressful and everybody ends up crying? Sending you a huge hug because bedtime can be HARD.
And if you have a super specific, oddly detailed, slightly dramatic bedtime routine like we do?
Welcome 😂
Our Bedtime Routine (That Probably Sounds Crazy to Some People)
1. The Bedtime Countdown
This honestly changed everything for us.
We start giving bedtime warnings about 20 minutes before bedtime.
Then:
- 10 minutes
- 5 minutes
- and yes… we literally set timers
Kids do so much better when they know what’s coming next.
Instead of:
“Okay bedtime RIGHT NOW.”
…it becomes:
“Hey buddy, we’ve got 5 more minutes, then bath time.”
It helps prevent meltdowns so much.
2. Brush Teeth + Potty
Nothing groundbreaking here 😂
But I swear routines work best when the same things happen in the same order every night.
Predictability is magic for kids.
3. Bath Time
Bath time is one of my favorite parts of the night.
We use soothing lavender bath bubbles/body wash/shampoo and yes… we started the 3-in-1 life EARLY because I am a busy mom lol.
We also set a timer for getting out of the bath because transitions are way easier when the timer becomes “the bad guy” instead of mom.
4. Pajamas + Books
This part takes awhile too, but I actually love it.
I give LOTS of choices during bedtime because it helps my son feel involved and independent.
But here’s the trick:
I never do open-ended choices.
Instead it’s:
- “Do you want the dinosaur pajamas or the blue pajamas?”
- “Two books or three?”
- “This book or this one?”
Giving choices without overwhelming them has worked SO well for us.
5. Bedtime Songs + Snuggles
After books:
- lights go out
- the bedtime Tonie goes on (the cat one is our favorite)
- we snuggle for 2 songs
-
then he gets another choice:
“Do you want to walk to bed or be carried?”
Again… tiny choices = smoother bedtime.
And honestly? I know this phase won’t last forever.
So I’m soaking it in while I can.
6. The Part That Takes Forever
Okay this is the part where some parents are probably screaming internally 😂
I sit in the chair in his room until he falls asleep.
We listen to bedtime songs or the Sleepy Sheep Tonie, which is SO relaxing honestly.
And you know what?
I used to fight this routine SO hard.
I thought bedtime had to be:
- quick
- efficient
- independent
- perfectly structured
But eventually I realized…
…this actually isn’t bad at all.
Once he’s in bed:
- my husband gets time to clean up dinner and decompress
- I get quiet time
- I scroll my phone
- answer emails
- write blogs like this one
- or just sit there and breathe for a second
And weirdly?
It became one of the calmest parts of my day.
Why This Routine Works for Our Family
I think the biggest reason this works is because it’s predictable.
Kids thrive on routines.
When they know:
- what’s happening
- what comes next
- and what to expect
…everything feels calmer.
But honestly?
It also works because everyone in our house is happier this way.
And I think that’s the real goal.
Not the “perfect” bedtime routine.
Not the shortest bedtime routine.
Not the most independent bedtime routine.
Just a routine that works for YOUR family.
If Bedtime Feels Miserable Right Now
First of all: you are absolutely not alone.
Second: maybe it’s okay to lower expectations a little.
Sometimes we fight routines because we think they should look different.
That was definitely me.
I thought I needed a super fast bedtime routine because that’s what “successful” bedtime looked like online.
But once I stopped forcing that idea?
Bedtime got so much better.
One Thing I’ll Always Recommend: Books
If there’s ONE thing I highly recommend adding into bedtime routines, it’s books.
Books are seriously one of the best parenting tools we have.
They help us:
- connect with our kids
- teach important lessons
- create memories
- build imagination
- slow down together
And honestly, bedtime is one of the easiest times to fit reading in consistently.
Final Thought
I think every family has routines that might make someone else think:
“Absolutely not” 😂
But if:
- you’re happy
- your kids are happy
- and your partner is happy
…then honestly?
That sounds like a successful routine to me.
So now I want to know:
What routines do you have that might put some people into a coma… but actually work amazingly for your family?